


Before the Rest of Your Life

by romanticalgirl



Series: Falling for the First Time [1]
Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 04:38:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 4/9/01</p>
    </blockquote>





	Before the Rest of Your Life

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 4/9/01

“So.” Doug sat down behind his desk and leaned forward. “I understand you have issues with authority figures.”

“The last authority figure I dealt with was part of a conspiracy to railroad me into undeserved community service.” Jen handed him a folder. “I brought my resume.”

“Excellent.” He opened it and glanced over the paper. “And what interests you in police work?”

“Absolutely nothing,” she admitted. “Except the paycheck.”

“It’s not much of one.”

“It’s better than the one I’ve got now.” Jen looked around the office, her whole demeanor nervous. “Which isn’t one, actually. The Leery’s found someone who can work full time, so they don’t need me anymore.”

“I’ve got other applicants to see.” Doug stood up. “I’ll give you a call with our decision.”

Jen stood up and nodded, a little defeated. “Right. Thank you.” She stopped, her hand resting on the doorknob. She half turned so that she was looking back at Doug. “You don’t have any intention of holding my friendship with Pacey against me, do you?”

“I hadn’t planned on it,” he told her. “But I could if you wanted me to.”

“Not really.” She turned back to the door, thinking. When she faced him again, her expression was pure innocence. “In fact, if knowing Pacey is likely to adversely affect my getting this job, I’d be glad to dump him like the loser he is.”

Doug sat on the edge of his desk. His feet were crossed at the ankles, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked intimidated and closed off, except for the smile he aimed in her direction. “Your loyalty is duly noted and admired.”

“I really need this job,” she blushed, embarrassed. “Sad, huh? The privileged girl from the wilds of New York practically begging for the lowest job on the social services totem pole.”

“We all have to start somewhere.”

She leaned against the door and surveyed him, noting his set features. She’d pissed him off somehow. “Do I sound like a snob?”

“Just a bit.”

“I’m not.” She smiled again, still blushing. He seemed closed off. “Can we start over?”

Doug shrugged and moved behind his desk again. “Sure.”

Jen moved back to the chair and sat down. She tucked her bangs back and took a deep breath. “Hi.”

“I’m Officer Doug Witter.”

“Jennifer Lindley.”

“Nice to meet you.” Doug glanced down at her resume. “You’re here about the opening?”

“Yeah.” She smiled widely and shook her head. “Okay, this is weird too.”

Doug finally grinned, putting her at ease. “Have you held a job before?”

“Not one that wasn’t given to me by a family friend. But I’m incredibly responsible.” She tried to hide her smile at Doug’s raised eyebrow. “As long as you don’t count the wild sexual abandon, the questionable underage drinking and the rumors of drug use.”

“I’ll be sure to discount all of that.” He gave her a mocking grin. “Since it really says so little about your character.”

“This is like one of those interrogation scenes in a movie, isn’t it? Good cop, bad cop? Where’s the good cop?”

“I am the good cop.”

“Damn.” Her forehead crinkled. “I’m failing miserably at this interview, aren’t I?”

“Pretty much.”

“I should just give up?” She looked to him for advice, her hair falling into her eyes. “Just go to McDonalds and start asking everyone if they want fries with that?”

“You’d look lovely in that uniform. Especially that little hat.”

“Thank you.” She sighed and rubbed her hands on her knees before standing up. “I’m just going to go then.”

“Can you start Monday?”

Jen’s smile lit up her face. “Really?”

“Really.” Doug matched her grin with his own. “I think your dubious history will no doubt give you important insight into the criminal mind.”

“I’m going to be a night janitor.”

“Well then, maybe your dubious history will help you deal with the dark underbelly of the police station’s trash cans.”

“Pacey was wrong about you, you know.” Jen reached over and shook Doug’s hand. “You’re not an ass at all.” She went to the door and opened it, pausing to wave. “See you on Monday.”

 

~**~  
“That’s a lovely outfit.”

Jen pushed her hair out of her eyes using the back of her wrist. The bright, yellow, rubber gloves flopped slightly, the fingers too long for hers. “Spring fashion at its best.”

“Haute couture, huh?”

“Oh yeah.” She sat on the edge of one of the desks and let her legs dangle. “Right off the runway in Milan.”

Doug leaned against a nearby filing cabinet. “So, how’s the new job going?”

“Good. Once you get past the wretched coffee and stale doughnuts, you police officers are pretty decent people.”

“No one’s pinched your ass yet?”

She laughed at his skeptical tone and pushed her bangs back again. “Nope.”

“You haven’t met Dave, then.”

“Several of the ladies on the force warned me about Dave.” She hopped down and picked up the trashcan, dumping the contents into the larger one on her cart. “They’ve told me all about the dangerous guys in the station.”

“Really?” He watched as she pushed her bangs back a third time “What’d they tell you about me?”

“Not a thing.” She grinned impishly, “you’re not considered dangerous.”

“At all?”

She shook her head, struggling to suppress her grin at his hurt tone. “Nope. You are, and I quote ‘the guy you go to if any of these other jerks make trouble’. You’re the good guy, Doug.”

“Damn. The kiss of death.”

“It could be worse,” she assured him, shoving her bangs back with more vigor this time. “Pacey’s gay rumor could be common knowledge.”

“That is true.” Doug stepped forward and tucked the loose blonde strands behind her ear.

Jen turned her head slightly, following the path of his fingers. Her eyes closed involuntarily and her tongue darted out to lick her lips.

“W…well.” Doug took a step back. “I should let you get back to work. Keep it up…the work. Good work.” He backed away quickly, turning as soon as he was a safe distance away.

Jen watched him go, a mixture of embarrassment and relief. Grabbing the handle of her cart, she pushed it toward the next desk, trying to identify the other emotion running through her.

It felt like disappointment.

~**~  
Doug sat on the cool, stone wall and leaned back, enjoying the sunlight as it played hide and seek with the leaves. Speckled light fell on his uniform, shining off his badge. Regretfully, he picked up the folder next to him and turned his attention away from the day.

“Is there ever a time when you’re not working?”

He looked up as the shadow fell across the papers in his hand, a smile already forming. “Well, if it isn’t the closest Capeside comes to debauchery.” He patted the wall next to him.

Jen hopped up on it and leaned over his shoulder, glancing at the papers. “Wow. Someone actually is going to trial for a crime? In Capeside?”

“Crimes do happen here. And I’m not just talking about the crimes of the heart you and your high school buddies commit.”

“I would never doubt your diligence and devotion to your duty.” Jen met his eyes solemnly. “And I would never mock you about it either.”

“Why do I doubt that?”

“Because I mock everything.” She shrugged. “It’s what I do. So.”

“So?”

“So…” She sighed. “It’s lunch time.”

“Shouldn’t you be in school?”

“You can arrest me for vagrancy later.” She lifted the bag she was holding. “Grams asked me to give this to you.”

“Really?” He sounded skeptical. “Your Grams has just suddenly, out of the kindness of her heart, offered me a gift?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded. “Right.” He reached for the bag, which she held away from him. “So give.”

“No. You’re being mean.” She tried to keep from smiling as she held the bag behind her back. “So I think I’ll just keep whatever it is for myself.”

“Okay.” He feigned disinterest and turned back to his report. “So, you’re not in school anymore? Skipping class?”

“It’s lunch time,” she reminded him.

“You don’t eat?”

She pulled the bag out from behind her and opened it, reaching in and removing an apple. “I could ask you the same question. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat anything.”

“I do ingest the obligatory doughnut from time to time.”

She held the apple out to him. “Can I tempt you?”

His gaze traveled from the offered fruit up her arm until he met her eyes. “How very biblical.”

She held his gaze steadily. “Consider it Grams’ influence.” She brought the apple up to her mouth and held it against her lips. “Do you want it?”

“As much as I appreciate the offer,” Doug closed his folder and slid off the wall. “I’m going to have to take a rain check. Duty calls.”

He walked off toward the courthouse, leaving her sitting there. She took a frustrated bite out of the apple then shoved it back into the paper bag. “Shit.” Grabbing the bag she jumped off the wall and headed back toward the school. “It’s for the best,” she reminded herself. “You are completely not interested in Doug. You were just trying to be friendly because you know he doesn’t have anyone to look after him and he’s been working too hard, spending too many hours at the station.” She stopped walking and hung her head. “Shit.”

“You really shouldn’t talk to yourself.”

She looked up, practically slamming her head into Doug’s as she jerked, the soft sound of his voice so close scaring her. He stepped back, just in time to avoid a head-on collision. “Jesus. Doug.”

“Again with the biblical. And Pacey told me that you weren’t into that.”

Jen caught her breath, chuckling softly as she did so. “You scared me.”

“I gathered.”

“You were going the other way, see? The way that isn’t this one and you weren’t walking beside me and then all of a sudden you were…” She faded slightly, realizing what she’d just muttered aloud before he appeared. “Why are you here?”

“I decided I was hungry.” He took the paper bag out of her hand and started walking backwards. “And you were the closest source of a meal.”

“There’s a cafeteria in the courthouse,” she reminded him, turning to watch him walk away.

“Yeah, but they don’t have apples.” He held up the bag. “Thank your Grams for me.”

Jen’s hands rested on the curve of her hips as she struggled to be angry. When that didn’t work, she settled for annoyed. “Thank her yourself.”

Doug shrugged, finally turning. “When would be a good time to do that?”

She watched his back, chewing on her lower lip. Now she knew why Joey did it so much; it helped you think. “Tomorrow night. Eight o’clock.”

Doug stopped and turned around, his smile no less brilliant for the distance between them. “I’ll see you then.”

~**~  
“You know how you’re really weird about Dawson dating Gretchen?” Jen sat down next to Pacey in the cafeteria.

“Ah, what a lovely preamble to ruining my meal. Dawson and the thought of him screwing my sister all in one sentence.” Pacey pushed his plate away. “Would you like to talk about Joey while you’re at it and create a whole new triangle for me?”

“No.” Jen shook her head, not even listening. “You know how you’re weird about the whole Dawson and your sister thing?”

“Yes,” Pacey stated through clenched teeth.

“Does that go for other members of your family? I mean, if say…someone were to want to date someone else in your family, would you freak out?”

“Is there some reason you’re asking me this?” He looked at her strangely as he pulled his plate back. “Because it almost seems as if you’re leading up to something. And, when I look at the situation, I can only wonder. Because you see, I have two other sisters and a brother. Now, I doubt that either of my other sisters is interested in some torrid affair with another woman, so that leaves Doug. And I’m pretty sure he’s not interested in a torrid affair with a woman either.”

“Pacey…”

“Which would leave Jack. Now, I dated Jack’s sister, so I don’t think I can really complain if he wanted to date my brother. It’d be a little weird, but nothing I couldn’t get over, although I should warn Jack that Dougie’s so far in the closet that he’s going to have to wade through some serious women’s clothing to get him out.”

“I think I have a date with Doug tomorrow night.”

Pacey stopped, his fork halfway to his mouth. “You what?”

Jen slumped toward the table, burying her head in her hands. She mumbled a response, turning just enough so she could see Pacey with one eye. He blinked rapidly, nothing registering.

He reached over and grabbed a handful of her hair, lifting her head so that she couldn’t hide. “You. What?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Her eyes widened with worry. “I was just…well, flirting. But not on purpose. And then there was this dating insinuation.”

“What was the insinuation?” Pacey enunciated every word slowly and clearly. “Exactly.”

“He’s coming over to my house tomorrow at eight. To thank Grams.”

“Grams?” Pacey’s voice went up an octave. “What the hell does he have to thank Grams for? No!” He held up a hand as Jen opened her mouth. “I don’t even want to know.”

“Not that.”

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Know.” Pacey got up. “Ever.”

“Pacey.”

“The thought of my brother having a date? Or, you know…” he swallowed hard. “Sex? That…that thought does not ever…EVER…need to cross my mind. And not only did you make it do that?” He shook his head violently, his hand in front of his chest as if to ward the conversation off. “You made it go through with Grams.” He shuddered. “And that’s NOT right.”

Jen struggled to hide her smile. “Pacey…”

“GRAMS.” He bit the word out through clenched teeth. “Do you not get that?”

“I’m sorry.” Her smile broke through, coupled with a bout of giggles. “You’re just so…” Biting the inside of her lips, Jen shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

He leaned into her, his face just inches away, his entire demeanor off balance. Dark blue eyes implored her as he drew the word out. “Graaaams.”

“I’m sorry.” She started laughing in earnest. “But…but look at it from my point of view, Pace. Now the thought of me with Doug isn’t so bad, is it?”

“I’m just going to go away now.” Pacey grabbed his backpack off the ground and slung it over his shoulder. “And pretend that this conversation never, ever took place.”

“Thanks, Pacey!” She called after him as he walked away, still chuckling under her breath. She turned back to the table and sighed, letting the laughter die away. “I have a date with Doug.” Her eyes widened in a mixture of horror and fear. “Shit.”

**

“Are you going to skulk in my doorway all evening?”

“No.” Jen shook her head, not moving from her position in the doorway. “Not, you know, all evening.”

“Well, I’m relieved to hear it.” He picked up his pen and tapped it on the desk, turning it over between each tap. “Did you need to clean my office?”

“This scenario is right out of a porn film, you know?” She shifted nervously. “Except it would be me as some high-powered executive behind the desk and you’d be a cop. Well, you are a cop. But you’d be a cop and you’d come in to tell me something about how my car had been broken into or something incredibly ridiculous and contrived. Then you’d come on to me. Or come on me.” She broke into a bout of nervous laughter, stopping abruptly at the look on his face. “You don’t like porn.”

“Did you need something?”

“Are we dating?”

Doug cocked an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that actually require dates? Unless I’ve missed it somehow, we haven’t had anything resembling one of those, much less the multitude that it would require to be considered dating.”

“Are we going to be dating?”

“I’m going over to your house tomorrow night to thank your Grams for a wonderful picnic lunch. Where did you get dating from that?” Doug leaned forward, watching her intently. “Much less a vivid pornographic scenario.”

“I didn’t make that up! It’s a valid plot…” She stopped when she noticed his smile. “You’re a dick.”

“Nope. Officer. Not detective.” He got up from his chair and moved around to sit on the edge of his desk. “Did you want me to come by and see you tomorrow night? Thank you instead of your grandmother?”

“I want…I want you to thank Grams. She made the lunch, after all. I had nothing to do with it. I was just the messenger.”

“Okay.” He nodded his agreement, shrugging as if it didn’t matter. “I’ll thank Grams.”

“I should get the trash out of here.”

He reached down and grabbed his trashcan, holding it out to her. “Here you go.” She reached out for it, using one hand to push her hair back. Doug sighed and slid off the desk, shaking his head. “You really should do something about that.” His hand captured the wayward strand and tucked it behind her ear then let the tips of his fingers trail over her cheek.

“I’m getting a hair cut.” She swallowed hard, the words raspy. “I mean, I…I should. I…I will.”

“Don’t.” He said the words softly, caressed it. “Not on my account.”

Jen nodded, her skin burning from his fingers on her cheek, stroking the soft flesh. “You like it long?”

Doug nodded as he leaned, his breath as warm as his touch. He licked his lips before they touched her, soft and barely there. “Yeah.”

The trashcan clattered to the floor, breaking them apart. Jen laughed nervously, bending down to pick up the scattered pieces of paper. “I should…I have work to do.” She looked up at him as he bent down to help her, her face suffused with red. “And you. You’re busy.”

“Should I not have done that?”

“It probably would have been better if you hadn’t.” Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “No. I mean, I’m glad you did. I liked that you did that. I like that you do that. You do that well.”

“I hadn’t even started.”

“Right.” She backed up, wincing when she ran into her cart. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She started to walk out, turning back to hand him his trashcan. “Night.”

“Night.” He watched her walk away, grinning when she came back for her cart.

“Night.”

“Night, Jen.” He watched her walk away, enjoying the view. “See you tomorrow.”

~**~  
“How do I look?”

“Lovely, Jennifer.”

She squinted at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. “I look like a cheap floozy.”

“No you don’t, dear.” Grams came up behind her and rested her hands on Jen’s shoulders. “You love just lovely.”

Jen leaned back against her grandmother and closed her eyes. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Like…like a kid, you know? Where everything’s fresh and new?”

“What about young Henry?”

“He was…Henry was new, but it was like I was always walking on eggshells. And when I finally decided that it was okay, he disappeared on me. But this is…”

“Let me guess, dear. You’re tingling?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not so old that I don’t remember that feeling. And it wasn’t so long ago that I had it.” She smiled at Jen in the mirror. “Falling in love is like springtime. Everything is fresh and new.” Resting her head against Jen’s, Grams noted the similarities in their features. “He’s far too old for you.”

“I know.”

“But I’m not going to try and stop you.”

“I know that too.” She caught her grandmother’s eyes. “Why not?”

“If there’s anything that Arthur taught me, it’s that you can’t choose what you love or who you love. You can’t dictate your life. You make choices and you live with them.” Sadness echoed through her tone. “And if you’re lucky, when all is said and done, you’re left with a beautiful memory.”

“Thank you, Grams.”

“And if he lays a hand on you, I’ll have that young man locked up in his own jail.”

Jen laughed. “Of course you will.”

The doorbell rang and Jen stiffened, her hands clenching together. “Tell him I’m not home.”

“Jennifer.”

“I’m not. I’m sick. I’m sick and I’m not home, because I don’t want to infect you. Tell him…” She took a deep breath. “He’s a cop, Grams. He’s this squeaky-clean cop and I’m some degenerate from New York City. I’ve probably done more than he’s even imagined and he’s going to think I’m debauched and defiled and…”

“Jennifer. He’s going to think you’re the most beautiful young lady he’s ever had the pleasure of escorting.” Grams kissed her forehead. “Now, you wait here while I find out his intentions.”

“If he mentions a porn film? I had nothing to do with that.”

Grams shook her head and closed Jen’s door before starting down the stairs. She opened the door and stood there, looking Doug over.

He was dressed in a dark shirt and slacks, his jacket lush, black leather. “Hello, Mrs. Ryan.”

“Douglas.”

“I wanted to thank you for the lunch yesterday. It was delicious.” He brought his hand from behind his back. “These are for you, as thank you.”

She opened the screen door and took the bouquet from his hand. “I love carnations, Douglas.”

“They’re beautiful and spicy. Sort of like you.”

A soft blush suffused her cheeks and she stepped back far enough to let him in. “You’re a consummate flatterer, Douglas. It seems to run in the Witter family.”

“I hope you won’t hold that against me.”

“You got in the house, didn’t you?” She grinned and walked to the base of the stairs. “Jennifer? There’s a young man here to see you.” She turned back to Doug. “Although not young enough. And even though Jennifer is, by law, an adult, I do not wish for you to take advantage of that fact in any way.”

“Mrs. Ryan, I wouldn’t dream of doing anything that would compromise your granddaughter.”

“I should hope not.” She gave him a hard look. “How old are you, Douglas?”

“Twenty-eight, ma’am.”

“That’s a good ten years older than Jennifer. And I don’t think I need to tell you how much that worries me. Not because I don’t trust you, but because she doesn’t trust herself. She’s been…she’s been around the block a few times, Douglas. She doesn’t need to be taken for a ride around it again.”

“No, ma’am. She doesn’t. And I have no intention of doing that. I’d just like to take her out for dinner and a movie. After that, I plan to bring her right back here, walk her to the door and say goodnight.”

“And will you be kissing her?”

“I don’t know, ma’am. That’s going to depend on how well we get along, how much I like her, how badly I want to see her again…” He faded out and shook his head at her look. “No ma’am. No plans to kiss her.”

“I thought not.”

“Are you through scaring him, Grams?” Jen rested her arm on the banister. “Because I think, if you have, we should go.”

“You look beautiful.”

“I do?” Jen looked down at her dress, a soft peach sundress that reached just above her knee, ending in a chiffon swirl. The underskirt was darker, hidden by the soft layer above that was decorated with sprinkles of white flowers. The top had spaghetti straps and came down to a vee just high enough to only hint at her luscious curves.

“Well, I mean, it would look better with a pair of rubber yellow gloves, but then, what outfit wouldn’t?”

She smiled and brushed at the skirt with an absent hand. “We should go.”

Doug slipped his coat off and held it out to her. “It’s chilly. And as attractive as that dress is, I don’t think it’s going to keep you warm.” He slid it over her arms, adjusting the collar under her hair. The blonde strands were pinned back in a messy waterfall that cascaded around her face. “Every strand in place, huh?”

She turned and smiled at him, shrugging. “For now.” Taking his hand, she led him toward the door. “Goodnight, Grams.”

“Goodnight, Jennifer. Have a nice time.” She shut the door behind them and watched them through the window as they walked toward Doug’s car. “Be careful.”

~**~  
Jen glanced out the window, watching as the scenery rushed by lazily. “Where are we going?”

“Well, at first, I thought we’d go to Leery’s Fresh Fish. But then I remembered that doing that would undoubtedly force us to face both Leerys and Witters. So I nixed that idea. I then thought about the Capeside Yacht Club, but that would require running into a Potter. So I thought I’d take us somewhere out of town.”

“Any place in particular?” She turned to look at him in the fading light of passing streetlights. He looked good in black; it made the blue of his eyes stand out that much more. She wasn’t sure she could take that much more. “Or are you just driving randomly from town to town until something catches your eye?”

“Something’s already caught my eye, but I don’t think I can afford the prices quite yet.” He gave her a sidelong smile, his fingers tapping the steering wheel absently in time with the music on the radio. “So I thought I’d take you to a new Italian place I found.”

“What if I don’t like Italian?”

“You don’t like Italian?”

“I love Italian, actually. But it also happens to be the messiest food ever, and for a girl who might be trying to impress someone, it’s kind of dangerous as first dates go.”

Doug seemed to think for a minute. “You plan on trying to impress someone? Because if you let me know who it might be, I can distract them if you get sauce on your chin.”

“And you’re skilled in diversionary techniques?”

“It’s a required course at the police academy.” He tossed her a grin as he pulled off onto a dark, dirt road.

“Uh…” Jen started to speak, even the small syllable laced with nervousness. She stopped as he passed a copse of trees and pulled into the small parking lot of a dimly lit restaurant. “They do good business?”

“They’re new, like I said. Just opened. A guy who used to be on the force owns it. He decided he’d rather cook than arrest drunken teenagers.”

“I can’t imagine why. Drunken teenagers are always interesting.”

Doug gave her a long look as he parked the car, his eyes running over her lightly, without judgment. “I’ll have to keep that in mind the next time I run into one.” He climbed out of the car and walked around it, opening her door for her. Taking her hand, he helped her out then started walking, holding it loosely enough that she could easily disengage it.

Jen fell in step beside him, tightening her grip on his hand. “I could call you the next time I’m at a party. There’s bound to be one or two of them there.”

“I think I’ll just leave it all up to chance, if you don’t mind.” He smiled as her fingers wove through his. “I’m sure with graduation coming up, I’ll encounter a few all on my own.” He opened the door for her and let her precede him inside.

She stopped in the entryway, smiling at the ambiance of the place. It was almost stereotypical, the décor that of the traditional Italian restaurant movie scene. “Are there two dogs out back sharing a plate of spaghetti?”

“Probably. I think he’s got them stuffed and bolted to the ground.” Doug grinned and eased his jacket from her shoulders. “For the ambiance, don’t you know.”

Jen laughed lightly, watching him as he hung up the jacket. His slacks were just tight enough to emphasize his ass; loose enough to keep her casting casual glances at his crotch. The top button of his shirt was unfastened, the deeply tanned skin peeking out from under his white undershirt. “You look nice.”

He turned slowly, one eyebrow cocked. “Thank you.”

“I’m not used to it.”

Doug laughed. “Thank you again.”

“I mean, normally you’re in your uniform. And it’s a nice uniform, but it really doesn’t…” she cut herself off, blushing. “Never mind.”

“I thought women liked men in uniform. Police officers, firemen, anything that’s akin to a costume, dressed up in tight pants for your viewing pleasure.”

“Mmm. Firemen.” She sighed softly. “Now, if you were a fireman, all sooty and wet…well, then we’d be talking nice all the time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time I try to impress you.” He took her hand again. “Shall we? Or should I set something ablaze first in an effort to meet your exacting standards?”

“I think we could leave the pyromaniac routine for next time.” She let him lead her to one of the few empty tables, waiting as he pulled out her chair. The table was small and round, topped with a red and white checked cloth, a wine bottle, wrapped with raffia, in the center coated with the multi-colored drippings of several candles. The flame flickered as he sat opposite her, casting him in a golden light. “I feel like we’re going to be dining on clichés.”

“I think he took those off the menu. He got a bad batch and had a run in with the health department. Rather than risk that again, he just offloaded them on the mobsters that frequent the joint.”

Jen shook her head, biting her lip to keep her soft laughter from escaping. She reached for her menu, sighing as the strap of her dress slipped down her arm. She fixed it, tugging it back into place. “So, what do you recommend then?”

Doug shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve never actually been brave enough to eat here.” He flipped open his menu and looked it over, smiling at her over the top of it. “But I’m sure it’s all very good.”

“This is some plan you’ve conceived in an effort to rid yourself of me, isn’t it?” She tapped the top of his menu with her finger. “You’re trying to do away with me.”

“Yeah.” Doug agreed easily. “And, after I do that, I’m gonna send a man to leave a horse’s head in your bed. Let you know subtly that you’re going to sleep with the fishes.”

“Hey, Doug.” A man roughly ten years older than Doug walked up to their table, clapping him on the shoulder. “It’s about time you dragged your lousy ass out here.”

“I wanted to wait and make sure you didn’t get closed down before I wasted the gas.” Doug shook the hand the man offered then nodded to Jen. “This is Jen Lindley. Jen, this is Mike Powell. He used to be on the force. Now he owns this rat hole.”

“Hey, they’re high quality rats at least.” Mike shook Jen’s hand as well. “What do you want to eat tonight? Just for the fact that you have to suffer with this idiot for company, your meal’s on the house.” He turned to Doug while Jen protested. “Yours is double price.”

“A cold-hearted businessman through and through, Mike.” Doug held his menu out to him. “I’m ready. You?”

Jen nodded and handed her menu over as well. “What do you recommend, Mike?”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you the house special. It’s the good stuff. The stuff I feed the health inspector and the food critics. I’ll be right back.” He left them alone, making his way back to the kitchen.

“He seems nice.”

“He is.” Doug watched her as she fiddled with the strap of her dress once more, tugging it up onto her shoulder. “What is it with you?”

She looked up, confused. “What?”

“Nothing.”

She started to reach for the strap again as it slid down, but his hand stopped her. His fingers caressed the material where it drooped along her arm. “I could have gotten that.”

“It’s a beautiful dress.”

“It keeps falling.”

He nodded and slid it back up the smooth expanse of flesh. His fingers were light, barely touching her. “That’s what makes it so beautiful.”

She shivered slightly from the combination of his touch and his voice, a low, husky whisper. “Thank you.”

His fingers lingered on her shoulder before edging to the curve of her neck. They lay against her pulse, feeling the rapid beat. Leaning in just slightly, Doug lowered his voice even further so that she had to strain to hear him. “Oh no. Thank you.”

Something hot and liquid slithered down Jen’s spine and she leaned in as well, the warmth of his breath like a beacon in cold waters. It was all primal, instinctual as she neared him. His lips parted, inviting. His eyes alight with desire. Kissing him seemed fated, destined. Absolutely futile to resist.

“All right.” Mike walked up to them, his heavy tread shattering the fragile moment like spun glass. “You’ve never had food like this. I’m just tellin’ ya now.” Mike waited as Jen took her first bite. She’d already schooled herself to like it, but she honestly hadn’t been prepared for it to taste as good as it did.

“No wonder you left the force.”

Both men grinned as Mike gestured to the wine steward. “I’ll get you a good wine to go with it.”

“Actually,” Doug interrupted him before he could give the order, “I’ll just have an iced tea. Jen?”

“That sounds great.”

“Cops,” Mike muttered under his breath as he walked away. “Ruin a good meal with principles.”

Doug picked up his fork. “So, you thought I’d take you somewhere with mediocre food out of loyalty to an ex-officer, huh?”

“That wasn’t it,” she informed him. “I just didn’t know for sure if you had any taste.”

“My asking you out wasn’t indicative of good taste?”

“Nope.” She shook her head, her smile impish. “Because, you see, I know where I’ve been.”

“Ah.” Doug leaned in, his eyes unreadable in the candlelight. “So you don’t have any taste.”

Jen watched Doug’s face as he realized what he’d just set himself up for, the unspoken joke hanging lightly in the air around them. After a few more seconds of silence, she reached over and took his hand. “You’re really new at this, aren’t you?”

His eyebrow shot up. “New at what? Dating?”

“No. The witty banter portion of the evening.”

“I thought I was holding my own, and don’t…” he held up a hand as she opened her mouth to say something. “Don’t sink to the level of my youngest sibling and make this conversation about sex.”

Jen regarded him for a minute, a sly smile on her lips. “Doug?” Her voice was sultry and heavy with suggestion. “Every conversation we’ve ever had has been about sex.” She watched him closely, noticed his body stiffen slightly, his cheeks darken. “You are really new at this, aren’t you?”

“The witty banter?”

She shook her head before turning her attention back to her meal. “No. Dating.”

~**~  
“Pacey was right about one thing.”

“Impossible.” After a few seconds, Doug looked away from the road and over at her. “What’s that?”

“You have the most appalling taste in music. Ever.” She set the CD holder down. “And, after viewing it first hand? You really only have yourself to blame for all the gay jokes.”

“Oh yes. Stereotypical gay music tastes and a uniform, and I’m automatically a member of the Village People.” Doug gave her an annoyed look. “Let me guess, you listen to angry chick music, right? Ani DiFranco?”

“Y…” She narrowed her eyes. “Yes.”

“And your last boyfriend left you before you slept together?”

It was Jen’s turn to stiffen, the light joking tone she’d intended turned to something else. “So?”

“Well, we’re quite a pair then, since you’re so obviously a lesbian.”

She sat back, stunned by the attack. She was speechless, her brain refusing to function as Doug reached over and snapped off the radio, leaving the car in an ugly silence. They drove that way, neither speaking, until they reached her house. “I thought we’d just forgo the movie.”

“Thank you for dinner.”

“I’ll walk you to your door.” He got out of the car, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He held her door open then followed her to the house.

Jen slipped off his jacket and held it out wordlessly.

Doug took it and held it, both of them staring awkwardly at one another. “I guess your grandmother’s fears of me taking advantage of you were unfounded.”

She dug her keys out of her purse and shoved them into the lock, not even bothering to look at him as she responded, acid in her tone. “Why? Because we’re both gay?”

“No. Because I hurt your feelings, which I’ve just now realized was probably worse than if I’d taken you home and ravaged you.” He looked down at his hands, the knuckles white from holding his coat so tightly. “Which I wouldn’t do anyway.”

She nodded. “Because you’re gay.”

“I believe my CD collection has been entered into evidence as irrefutable proof.” He watched her, relief flooding through him as she smiled. “I’m sorry. I just…” He leaned against the porch railing and stared down at his feet. “I was out of line and defensive and…”

She moved nearer, leaning beside him. She gave him a sideways glance. “And?”

“And I like you.” He turned his head to look at her, his cheeks flushed. “But…”

Jen reached over and rested her hand on his, stroking the back of his wrist with her thumb. “But?”

“But I’m sort of new at this dating thing. Or at least woefully out of practice.”

“Well, I’m certainly no authority on dating,” she said softly, turning his hand over and linking their fingers. “I spent the bulk of my formative years sleeping around. Sort of bypassed the dating part of it.”

Doug lifted their hands and ran his lips lightly over the back of hers. “So what do we do?”

Her breath suddenly constricted, Jen shrugged. “We could just stumble through the dating then call upon my expertise when we get to the sex.”

He considered it. “You think we’ll get that far?” His breath was warm on her hand, the delicate hairs dancing.

“Yeah.” She watched him push off the railing before pulling her towards the door. He turned the key she’d placed in the lock and pushed the door open for her, stepping back. As soon as she was over the threshold, he released her and headed back to his car. “Although, I have a feeling it’s going to be the slowest trip of my life.”

~**~  
“Okay, the rumors cannot be true.” Joey sank down into her desk in French, disbelief on her face as she looked at Jen. “Tell me they’re not true.”

“They’re not true.”

“So you didn’t go out on a date with Doug?”

“Oh, those rumors?” Jen smiled. “Yeah, those are true.”

“Jen!” Joey looked around the rapidly filling classroom and leaned over, dropping her voice. “You can’t date Doug.”

“Why not?”

“He’s…he’s…and he’s Doug!”

“I like that he’s Doug.”

“He’s too old for you.”

“I’m eighteen now, Joey. I don’t need a mother.”

“He’s a cop.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

“He’s a Witter.”

Jen gave Joey a knowing look, smiling as the other girl blushed. “That’s a bad thing?”

“Everyone knows he’s gay.”

“No,” Jen shook her head. “He’s most definitely not gay.”

Joey sat back, pulling away as if she’d been slapped. “You slept with him?”

Jen blushed, a tide of crimson flooding her cheeks as Joey’s question seemed to echo around the room, every gaze now focused on her. She turned and faced the front of the classroom as the teacher walked in, devising new and interesting ways for Joey to die.

~**~  
A shadow fell over the picnic table and slowly, timidly, Jen looked up. Pacey stood there looking incredibly calm. “There’s only one thing saving you from the full torrent of my disgust, disbelief and fury right now.”

“What’s that?”

“The fact that Dawson was defiled by my sister.”

“There should be one more thing.”

Pacey sat beside her and copied her posture from earlier in the week, burying his head in his arms. “What’s that?”

“I didn’t sleep with Doug.”

“You’re saying Joey lied?” He looked up, smirking. “I just can’t imagine that happening.”

“The sarcasm is almost as thick as the tension with you two, you know that?”

“Why would Joey lie, Jen? I mean, this has nothing to do with Dawson.”

Jen ignored the majority of his comment. “She didn’t lie. She misunderstood. She said something about Doug being gay and I denied it.”

“Leading her to assume that you found out first hand.” Pacey nodded, understanding. “She does know that the whole Doug being gay thing was just our way to torment the perfect number one son in the family, doesn’t she?”

“I would assume so,” Jen shrugged. “I knew. I think she was just caught up in the momentum. And a little pissed that none of her arguments were working.”

“Jen?”

She looked over at Pacey, the change in his tone immediately catching her attention. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Pacey?”

“Just…” He looked away, obviously embarrassed.

“What?”

“Just be careful, okay?” He sighed his exasperation. “Doug hasn’t dated in a long time.”

“It shows.” She stopped and forced herself to be serious. “You think I’m going to break his heart?”

Pacey looked at her and the small smiled that had accompanied the teasing faded for good. “I think you could. I think you have serious heartbreaker potential, Lindley. And I’d hate to see him…either of you get hurt.”

She reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. “I’ll be careful with him, Pacey. I promise.”

“It’s just…” He looked up as a voice floated toward them. Joey and Dawson were just a few feet away. “I know how much a girl you’re head over heels for can hurt you.” He forced his eyes, a little more tortured now, back to Jen. “And I think you give him butterflies.”

Jen blinked away the sparkly effect of sudden, unshed tears. “That’s good though, right?”

“It’s good,” Pacey agreed with a nod as he got to his feet. Unable to stop himself, he looked over at Joey and Dawson. “But it can also be devastating.”

~**~

Doug walked out of the police station and stopped, leaning back against the façade as he stared at the sight awaiting him across the street. Jen sat perched on the hood of his car, legs crossed Indian style, her hands dripping with drops of soapy water as she blew a stream of bubbles in his direction.

The sun was shining down on her. Her short skirt was tucked demurely around her legs as one hand held the bubble solution just firmly enough against the material to keep it from blowing in the slight breeze and offering anyone who cared to look a more intimate view. The sleeves of her oversized sweater seemed to rush down her arms like exuberant puppies, tumbling over themselves to reach her elbows. Her blonde hair tumbled around her face, completely unkempt.

He’d never wanted anyone more in his life.

“You know,” he informed her as he started across the street, “cars are considered personal property and, as such, you’d be trespassing.”

“It’s only trespassing if you don’t want me here.” She stated calmly, lifting the bubble solution and stretching out her legs. “Although I should let you know that crossing the street anywhere other than at a crosswalk is a jaywalking violation and I could easily make a citizen’s arrest.”

He slid onto the hood beside her, resting his hand behind him and leaning back to take in the afternoon sun. “You got any handcuffs?”

“Are we moving on to the sex already?”

“I think it’s a little precipitous after just four dates, don’t you?”

Her eyebrows raised, she gave him a long look. “Do you remember nothing of my past?”

“All I’ve ever heard of your past has been innuendo and self-deprecating insinuations.” He gave her a quick glance out of the corner of his eye. “I’ve never actually heard any of the sordid details.”

“Do you want to hear the sordid details?” She asked the question lightly, nervously. “Because they are most definitely sordid.”

“I want you to tell me what you want me to know, Jen.”

She nodded and blew another string of bubbles into the sky. “Maybe we could just suffice it to say that back when I was in New York, by the fourth date we’d be past sexually active and breaking up.”

“Not a long-term commitment kind of gal, huh?”

She couldn’t read anything in his tone, so she kept going, wondering what she was doing, if she wanted to hurt him. Shock him. Make him hate her like she hated herself sometimes. “I don’t know that I made it past the first date most of the time.”

“Were they actually dates? Or were they just sex?”

“Sometimes both. Mostly just sex.”

“Hmmm.”

She looked over at him, trying to gauge his reaction. His expression was unreadable, his gaze placid. “Hmmm? That’s your comment?”

He sat up, reaching over to take the bubble wand from her hand. He dipped it in the solution then blew out a long stream of bubbles. “What do you want me to say?” He asked finally.

“I want you to be disgusted. I want you to live up to your squeaky-clean image and be repelled.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” She could feel anger rising. “Why do you think? It’s disgusting. I’m disgusting. I’m used up and…”

“Why do you want me to feel that way?”

“It’s the way you’re supposed to feel.”

“I’m supposed to be disgusted because my girlfriend has sexual experience? I’m 28 years old, Jen. You think I’m a virgin?”

“No, but…”

“But what? I never did drugs? I never got drunk? I never had sex? Or, I just didn’t do it as often? Not everyone has the opportunities afforded an affluent teenager in New York. Capeside’s a little less forgiving of its wayward youths. We just had to be more careful.”

“You’re not turned off by the fact that I was found in my parent’s bed having sex with my boyfriend?”

“Well, I’m not exactly turned on by the thought of my girlfriend in bed with another guy, but…”

“That’s twice.”

“What?” Doug looked over at her. “What’s twice?”

“That you’ve called me your girlfriend.”

His eyes asked the question more eloquently than his voice. “Isn’t that what you are?”

“Am I?”

Doug slid off the hood of the car and walked in front of her. Jen spread her legs, letting him move between them. He stared into her eyes, marveling at the sheer wonder in her question. “Aren’t you?”

“I never really thought of us that way,” She admitted.

“How do you think of us?”

“I…” she broke off with a smile, leaning in to kiss him softly. “I thought we were just sneaking around furtively.”

“As I recall, I had to detail my intentions to your grandmother. How exactly does that rank as furtive?”

“So we’re officially a couple?” She set the plastic container of bubbles down on the hood and slid off, trapping herself between him and the car, their bodies pressed against one another. “I could go up to anyone – your brother for example – and introduce you as my boyfriend Doug?”

“You could, although I’m pretty sure Pacey knows who I am.”

“Maybe so, but it’s fun to watch him squirm.”

Doug looked over his shoulder and laughed at Pacey’s expression. “What’s the matter, little brother?”

“Just because you have better taste in my friends than Gretchen does, it doesn’t mean that I need to hear or, God forbid, see any of the gory details.”

“So you’d rather I didn’t kiss her in front of you?”

“Actually, I’d rather you didn’t have her pinned to the car in the missionary position, but that travesty is already burned onto my psyche.”

“What did you want, Pacey?”

“Nothing. I was walking along, minding my own business, when I was assaulted by your public display of affection.” Pacey glanced across the street to the police station. “Isn’t there some sort of ordinance about that kind of thing?”

“You’re just jealous, little brother.” Jen jabbed Doug in the ribs as Pacey’s face fell. Closing his eyes to mentally berate himself, Doug shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Pacey managed a smile. “It’s the truth. I’d give anything to pin Lindley against your car.” His smile finally reached his eyes. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Doug’s eyes snapped open in time to see Jen’s widen. “You never mentioned one of your past indiscretions was my little brother.”

“It wasn’t.” She shook her head, glaring at Pacey all the while. “We just fooled around a little. Nothing serious.”

“Yeah, Doug. She wasn’t my girlfriend.”

“From what she’s mentioned of her past, I don’t think her being your girlfriend should be my biggest concern.”

“She wasn’t anything else either.” Pacey put his hand on Doug’s shoulder, keeping him from moving away from Jen, recognizing his jealousy. “I’m an ass, Doug, remember? I was just trying to get a rise out of you.”

Doug looked down at Jen, his features stiff. “Is that true?”

Jen looked past him to Pacey then, ignoring his imploring gaze, looked back at Doug. “Mostly.”

“Mostly?” Doug shook off Pacey’s hand and moved away from her. His voice remained calm. “Which part wasn’t true?”

“Well…” She stopped. “Maybe we could talk about this somewhere else? Alone?”

“Where Pacey can’t confirm or deny your story?”

“Where we’re not in the middle of a busy, downtown street. Where the entirety of Capeside isn’t listening in on our conversation.” She bowed her head slightly. “You can call Pacey afterwards and compare our stories if you don’t believe mine.”

“Fine.” He brushed past his brother and opened the driver’s side door. “I’ll talk to you later, Pacey.”

 

~**~  
“This isn’t exactly the auspicious circumstance I’d envisioned for my first trip to your apartment.” Doug stood back so that she could enter, not staying a word. “I’d honestly thought it would be more of a candlelit dinner and some cuddling by the fire, rather than the Salem witch trials and being burned at the stake.” She walked over to the couch and sat down, her fingers playing with the hem of her skirt.

Doug stood by the fireplace and leaned against the mantel. “This isn’t some sort of inquisition.”

“Isn’t it?”

“You could have just agreed with Pacey’s assessment of your…what? Relationship?”

“It was a year and a half ago. He was still in denial about Joey, and we were both lonely. We decided to participate in a sort of no-strings sex pact.”

“Ah.”

“We just agreed that we’d be there if the other needed…”

“To get off?”

“Sexual gratification.”

“Semantics.”

“So we both agreed to it. But, for one reason or another, it never came to fruition. Something was always wrong.” She looked up at him for the first time. “Your brother and I have great chemistry. As friends. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that, of all the participants in our little high school drama, Pacey and I are the only two with no sexual longing whatsoever.” She stood up and took a step toward him. “On either side.”

“So I’m not some weird Pacey substitute?” He asked lightly.

“God, no. I actually want to sleep with you.” She took another step. “I dream about you.”

His voice thickened. “You do?”

“Mmm-hmmm.” She stopped in front of him and reached out, her hand resting on his chest near his badge. “I wake up all hot and sweaty after every date.” Her fingers moved in imperceptible circles. “Imagining what it would be like if you’d do more than kiss me softly on Grams’ porch.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, her eyes dark. “I wonder what it would be like if we were in your bedroom and you were undressing me, putting you hands on me. Putting your mouth on me.”

Doug didn’t move as she started unbuttoning his uniform, her hands pulling the light blue material apart. “I’ve barely even kissed you.”

Jen leaned in and kissed his chest, her mouth hot through the thin cotton of his undershirt. “I know.”

He closed his eyes, his hand tightening on the mantel, his knuckles white. “Jen…”

Her mouth moved over his chest to cover his nipple, her tongue flicking over the hard tip. Doug swallowed hard, his body shivering. His free hand lifted to tangle in her hair, the wavy strands moving through his fingers.

As her teeth grazed the sensitive skin, he released the mantel and captured her head in both hands. Pulling her away from his chest, he tilted her face up to his, bent down and kissed her, his mouth hard on her own.

Jen moaned into the kiss, the hot urgency of his tongue as he explored her, tasted her. Her body felt like liquid as he devoured her, the memory of their chaste goodnight kisses obliterated in the rush of passion.

The broke apart, both panting, neither able to stay away as they collided again, too hungry to settle for small tastes of pleasure. His lips found her neck, leaving a burning trail as he tasted the soapy residue of expired bubbles on her skin.

Jen nibbled on his earlobe, her breath a flame dancing along his central nervous system. She moaned his name as he bit her lightly, pressing her body to his.

His arms on her hips, Doug turned them both, pinning her against the wall. The hard press of his body was nothing like their playful earlier embrace. This one was insistent, hungry. Jen pushed her hips off the wall and ground against him, whimpering softly as his hard, lean body offered resistance, pressing into her softness.

Doug devoured her, his lips and tongue venturing lower, over her shoulder, pushing the sweater away from her pale skin. His fingers curled under her bra strap, lowering it as he left kisses in its wake. “I want to undress you,” he murmured against her skin. “I want to taste every inch of you.”

Jen nodded, beyond words, as he slipped his arm around her waist and lifted her, carrying her the few, short feet to his bedroom. As soon as he set her down, she turned to face him, tugging her sweater over her head.

She reached for her bra and he grabbed her hand, turning her, bringing her stumbling back to him. He held her, her back against his chest, his hands resting on her stomach before they slipped up to cup her breasts. His thumbs brushed the nipples, hard against the thin material.

Doug’s breath caressed her ear as he forced his hands to move, pulling the straps of her bra down her arms. He traced the fabric back to the fastening, slipping the hooks free and easing the material from her body.

Jen turned slowly, letting his fingertips drag across her skin as she moved. He skimmed her stomach and hooked two fingers under the waistband of her skirt, sinking to his knees as he pulled it down. He inhaled the scent of her desire as he kissed her flat stomach, his tongue branding her.

Jen’s fingers dug against his scalp, massaging it as he sank lower. His hand stroked her thighs, feeling each shiver as it ricocheted through her body. “Doug…” she gasped softly.

He pulled back, resting on his heels. His bright eyes had darkened to a deep blue, the pupils dilated with desire. He watched as she stepped out of her skirt and panties and sank down onto the bed.

Shedding his uniform shirt, Doug advanced on her, his hands on her knees, forcing them apart. His lips grazed the inside of her leg as he worked his way up to the hot swollen lips at the apex of her thighs.

Jen’s hand curled into fists, clutching the bedspread tightly as Doug’s tongue parted the slick folds of skin. It flickered hotly across her clitoris, lingering there with a sort of delicate urgency. He tasted her, his tongue snaking along the warm cleft, dipping inside her to the shallow pool of her desire.

“Yes,” Jen sighed as he replaced his tongue with his fingers, sliding two inside her and thrusting slowly, teasing her with the sensation as his tongue settled over her clit once more.

Her body arched and writhed, at his mercy as he increased his speed, a smooth, steady stroke pushing into her.

The warm rush of heat surrounded Doug’s fingers, an appetizer on his tongue. His fingers never slowed, continuing to penetrate her.

“Doug…” she whimpered brokenly, her voice trembling as she felt the flood of her orgasm break through her. Her hands tightened even further in the comforter as her hips arched upward.

As she came crashing back down to the bed, she expected relief, a reprieve. Instead he kept moving, stroking her with the pads of his fingers, letting his thumb wreak havoc on her clit as his tongue moved down to delve deeper into her.

There was no slow build up this time, no gradual excitement. He was relentless, his fingers and tongue working in unison, forcing wave after wave of pleasure to course through her.

“Oh God, Doug, please….” She wasn’t conscious of anything but the overwhelming sensations, begging him to stop as she spun toward a sensory overload. Her body rebelled, moving back on the bed, retreating from his assault.

Doug looked up at her through eyes hazy with desire, his face flush with longing. He watched her as he stood, peeling his damp undershirt away from his skin before tugging it over his head. “Please what?”

Her legs were still spread, an open invitation. She smelled of the heady scent of sex, watching him as he unfastened the wrinkled, black slacks of his police uniform. Barely recognizing the sound, Jen purred softly as the sleek material pooled at his feet; the heavy thud his leather holster as he kicked them away forcing her hips to come off the bed, his name a long, low moan torn from her throat..

Tight, white boxer briefs highlighted his tanned skin, the fabric pulled taut, into high relief with the outline of his cock. He pushed the material down, easing it over the hard flesh. Jen squirmed in anticipation, her body drenched in fevered heat.

Naked now, his cock straining toward her, Doug knelt on the bed at Jen’s feet, advancing on her slowly. She forced herself to breathe, the thick air of the room swimming in her lungs.

His knees between her thighs, Doug leaned over her, reaching into the drawer of his nightstand. He stretched, his body grazing hers, his cock like a weight on her stomach, heavy and insistent.

Straightening, he pulled the wrapper off with shaking hands, then slid the condom on. He winced, hissing as the slightest touch sent almost painful sensations thrilling through him, restraint pushing him past pleasure.

Jen kept moving, inching closer, her body dancing on the bedspread as she offered herself to him, the anticipation like torture as he brushed his sheathed cock over her parted flesh.

Then with one long stroke, what had been expectation suddenly became reality as he impaled her, rigid cock sinking into willing flesh. He closed his eyes, afraid to see her, instead concentrating on his trembling limbs and the fear that seemed to block out his desire for her. He thrust, his whole body quivering, his voice cracking on the simple cry of her name as his fragile control shattered in seconds.

~**~  
Jen lay still beneath him, afraid to move. His shivering body lay above her, inside her. “Doug?”

He rolled away quickly, not looking at her as he got off the bed and went to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked gently.

“Right. And make an awkward situation even more embarrassing.”

She sat up, tugging the ends of the comforter over her to combat the sudden chill in the room. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Right.”

“Doug?” She slipped off the bed, letting the covers fall. Standing in the bathroom door, she offered him her hand. “You have no idea how much what just happened means to me.”

He faced her, “Look, I know…”

“Doug?” She shook her head, refusing to let him speak. “I’ve probably had sex with more people than you actually know.”

“I told you I don’t care if you’ve slept with a lot of people…”

“Then why should I care if you’ve never slept with any?”

He looked away from her, regarding his own reflection. “It’s a nice thought.”

“What made you wait?”

“You mean, could the gay rumor be true?” He shrugged, a smirk on his face as he stared at into his own eyes, the expression in them not pleasant. “I wasn’t popular in high school. And I don’t mean not popular the way your friends aren’t popular, where you have your little clique. I was unpopular the way the Sheriff’s son is unpopular when people think he’s a narc.”

“Those policeman ambitions got in the way of helping the football players avoid the long arm of the law?”

“Something like that. Regardless, I was sort of shunned, so sex wasn’t really an option.”

“High school was a long time ago.”

He shrugged and looked away from his own gaze. “People in small towns have very long memories.”

“Doug?” When he didn’t face her, she reached up for his chin and turned his eyes back to hers. “Where did you learn to…do what you did?”

“I’m a smart guy.”

“You’re good with your hands.”

He grinned and leaned back against the counter, his eyes enjoying their excursion down her nude body. “You can thank Grams for that.”

“I ca…pardon?”

“She spent hours teaching me to decoupage.” He pointed at her. “So, what went through your mind to cause such a look of pure horror?”

She grabbed his extended hand and pulled him toward her. “It wasn’t horror, it was…”

“You thought it was something sexual and it horrified you.”

“Let’s go back to bed, Doug.”

He cast a quick glance downward. “I just want to remind you that I’m not eighteen.”

Jen reached out, taking the velvety shaft in her hand, cocking an eyebrow as his pulse jumped. “No, you’re not. But you’re not dead either.”

~**~  
“You, my friend, have forsaken me.”

Jen glanced up as Jack loped onto the porch. “How exactly have I done that?”

“You’re seeing someone.”

“And you and Tobey just now came up for air long enough to notice this?”

Jack had the decency to blush as he sat on the porch railing opposite her chair. “Coming up is an appropriate enough phrase.”

“Coming up,” Jen nodded then paused, realization dawning. “Coming up implying going down?”

His blush deepening, Jack slipped off the rail and sat at her feet. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

“You go first.”

Glancing around, Jack lowered his voice. “Grams?”

“Out for the day.”

“The likelihood that we’ll be overheard?”

“It’s Capeside, Jack.” She kept her expression neutral. “What do you think the odds are?”

“Good point.” He leaned in, resting his chin on her knee. “So…where should I begin?”

“That depends,” she patted the top of his head before grabbing a handful of hair in her fist. “On how quickly you want me to stop pulling.”

“Okay, okay! You’re messing up my ‘do.”

“Your ‘do?”

“I spent hours on that, I’ll have you know.”

“I do know. I shared a bathroom with you once, remember? Now. Dish.”

“We just…” At her glare, he held up his hands in surrender. “We went out last night and saw a movie. Nothing too date-like, since you know I’m not nearly gay enough for him.” He laughed and continued. “So on the way home, he reaches over and takes my hand, pulling me off the sidewalk and pinning me up against a tree.”

“Which totally freaked you out.”

“Which totally freaked me out.”

“And?”

“And then he was kissing me. We were both shaking and laughing and mumbling these stupid endearments that caused us to laugh more and then all of a sudden, his hand’s on me, you know?”

“Right.” Jen leaned forward, urging him on.

“And he’s…well, he’s rubbing it and it’s getting harder and all I can think is that I’ve never had a guy touch me there and this is what I’ve been fantasizing about for most of my life and it feels so good.” He sighed a little and looked up at her. “It felt so good, Jen.”

“I know.”

“And then, I know I’m getting close so I push him away and we’re both panting and it’s like all the air has gone somewhere else and I realize that I’m feeling this way for the first time and so I grabbed his hand and practically dragged him all the way to my house.”

“Whereupon?”

“Whereupon we stumbled into the living room and I managed to get his pants off before we both fell to the floor and I started kissing his stomach and his thighs and when I finally got his goddamned underwear off, I…” Jack broke off, as if he’d just realized he was talking out loud. “And then,” he swallowed, “then he stripped me and returned the favor.”

“You make it all sound so anticlimactic.” She stroked his cheek before leaning in to kiss his forehead. “Is my little Jackers no longer a virgin?”

“Not quite.” He smiled up at her. “I didn’t want him to think I was easy.” As Jen laughed, he rubbed her thigh just in front of his chin. “Your turn.”

“My story’s boring. Just plain old heterosexual lovin’.”

He gave her a knowing look. “If I’m not mistaken, the last round of heterosexual loving you ever got was back in our sophomore year, so don’t try to pass this off as some run of the mill bump and grind.”

“It wasn’t,” she admitted with a smile. “But I’m not so sure I should kiss and tell.”

“So?” Jack raised his eyebrows. “Don’t talk about the kissing.”

“But the kissing was hot.” She giggled and slipped off her chair, sitting on the porch beside him. “We were at his apartment and I was thinking it was going to be angry sex, you know?” Jack nodded and she went on. “Because he was pissed. He found out about the whole no-strings sex fiasco with Pacey and got all jealous.”

“Jealous is good. The fact that he had a right to be jealous of his little brother is sort of freaky. I’ve mentioned that to you, right?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “But your sage advice is hard to live by when you follow the statement up each time with a remark about how incredibly hot Doug is.”

Jack shrugged his acceptance of the fact. “Doug is hot.”

“Get your mind off my boyfriend, bitch.” She bumped Jack’s shoulder with her own. “Anyway, so he’s all pissed off and so I go up to him and I start to undress him. Nice and slow, kissing his chest through his shirt.”

“Open mouth?”

“Of course.”

“Mmm.”

“And then I can tell I’m getting to him, he’s starting to breathe funny then he grabs my face and lifts it like he can’t wait for me anymore. And then we’re kissing and it’s like his tongue finds every single place I want touched.”

“Reeeeally?”

“Slow down, sport. I’m getting there.” She cleared her throat and blushed a little, staring down at her hands. “Then, before I know it, he’s got me pinned to the wall and he’s peeling my sweater off me, his touch delicate like he’s afraid I’m going to break…”

“I thought you told him about your dark, seedy past.”

“So then, he lifts me up and carries me into the bedroom and he won’t let me undress. He takes my clothes off, so slowly I want to grab him, pin him to the ground and straddle him.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because he pushed me down onto the bed and went down on me.”

“Aha. And how does Deputy Witter fare with his tongue?”

“On a scale of one to ten?” Jack nodded. “Eighty.”

“Jesus.”

“And then he used his hands. God, he’s got these long fingers and they’re so smooth and…” It was Jen’s turn to blush. “He made me come three times.”

“Yeah?”

“And that was before he finally had sex with me.”

“Jesus.”

“But that’s not the best part.”

“No?” Jack looked at her as if she was crazy. “He made you come three times before he fucked you and that’s not the best part?”

Jen grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Nope.”

“What, pray tell, is the best part?”

“I made a man of him.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“Nope.”

“And you’re sure he’s not gay?”

Jen shoved him and straddled his thighs, her arms resting on his shoulders as she grinned at him happily. “Let’s just say that if he was, and I’m doubting that seriously based on the skill level he had with someone as jaded as yours truly, he’s definitely switched over to our team.”

“He was a virgin?”

“Tried and true.”

“And you deflowered him?”

“Yup.”

“You’re my hero.”

“Yeah, well, I just hope I’m his hero.” She pulled him into a hug then released him, still sitting astride his legs. “Who knows, Jack? If I can do it for him, we’ll find someone to deflower you yet.”

“Is this a private party or can anyone join?”

Jen and Jack both turned to look at Doug, standing in the screen doorway of the porch. He was leaning against it, his body relaxed and casual. Jack shoved Jen off of him and got to his feet. “Hey.”

“Jack.”

“How’s it going?”

Jen watched them both, trying to figure out whose smile was most likely to cause permanent facial injury first. “Just fine.”

“Great. Well. I have to meet Tobey, so I’ll see you two later.” He fought to get his grin under control as he looked at Jen. “Tell Grams I said hi.”

“Oh, I will. Tell Tobey I said to get his ass on top next time.”

Jack laughed and flipped her off as he moved by Doug, turning as soon as he was passed him to check out his ass. Jen clamped her mouth shut in an effort not to laugh, a look that didn’t go by unnoticed. “Was he checking out my ass?”

“He gave his approval, if that makes it any easier.” She walked over to him and stood on tiptoe, brushing a soft kiss across his lips. “Hi.”

“And how much of our sexual soiree is Jack privy to?”

“Only the juicier details.”

“Oh good. I’d hate for just the boring stuff to get out.”

“Jack doesn’t kiss and tell to anyone but me.” She rested her hands on his chest as she smiled up at him. “So, your secret’s safe with us.”

Doug wrapped his arms around her and lifted her slightly, his mouth covering hers, his tongue invading her like slow, warm honey. Pulling back, he released her reluctantly and gave her a liquid smile. “I hope that you don’t mind that I dropped by.”

“Mmm. If I did, would you kiss me like that again?”

“It’s possible you could persuade me.” He lowered his head to hers, his hands tangling in her hair this time, tugging gently. Her mouth opened for him, inviting him inside her. After too short a time, he pulled away, licking her lips as he did so. “I’m sort of a pushover when it comes to blondes.”

“Yeah? I’ll have to keep that in mind next time I want something.” She grabbed his hand and led him into the house, pulling him toward the stairs.

“Where are we going?”

“I want something.”

“Jen…this is your grandmother’s house.”

She stopped walking and insinuated her body against his. “But I’m a blonde. A natural blonde.”

“Well, that makes all the difference.” He refused to budge, not letting her entice him up the stairs.

Pressing more firmly against him, Jen slipped one of her legs between both of his. “She’s going to be gone all day, Doug. And I’ve missed you.”

“That why you were straddling Jack when I got here?”

She laughed and let her hand run over the bulge in his jeans, scraping the denim with her short fingernails. “Come on. Just for a little while?”

“And what if Grams comes home?”

She grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs, knowing she’d won. “Use your hands. Then we can tell her we were practicing our decoupage.”

~**~

“I hope you don’t think I tried to get this job because I thought you were hot or anything.” Jen ran her feather duster over the top of Doug’s filing cabinet. “Because that’s not the case.”

“I don’t think that.”

“Good.”

“Although I did hire you because I thought you were hot.”

She stopped and glared at him, a smile lurking around the corners of her mouth. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. It was all about getting in your pants, right from the start.”

“You’re such a liar, Douglas Witter.”

“Really?” He got up from his chair and came around his desk, sitting on the edge of it. “You don’t think I was sitting across from you that first day thinking about what it would be like to toss everything off the top of my desk and take you right there?”

“You? Sweet, little, innocent you?”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Not so innocent,” he growled.

“Oh, sure. Now. But then, you were a mere lad just entering the world of sexual prowess.”

He glanced outside the door to his office before standing up and taking a step toward her. “And what am I now?”

She giggled and took a step away from him. “Oh, you’re well ensconced in that particular world nowadays.”

“But back then I couldn’t have managed to do such a thing, huh?”

“Nope. Not our little Dougie.” She shook her head, holding her duster in front of her like a weapon. “He’s a good boy.”

“Really?”

“Mmm-hmmm.” She dropped the duster to her side and stepped toward him, her voice lowering. “But I like him bad much better.”

“And am I bad?” He was inches from her, his crisp uniform asking to be shed, pooled at his feet as she kissed her way down his body. She could feel his erection as he pressed up against her, reaching past her to shut his office door.

“Yeah.” Her hand smoothed along his cock, unzipping the thin fabric and reaching in to rub him through the soft cotton. Her thumb concentrated on the wet spot, stroking him through it.

“And being bad,” he whispered huskily, “I could very easily sweep everything off my desk and take you right here.” He closed his eyes for a second as she moved her hand, reaching into his briefs and wrapping her hand around his thick shaft. “Slide inside you and fuck you until you scream.”

Her hand moved slowly, sliding along the length of him, her body closing in on his. “You’d do that? Right here?” Her voice was thick and hot against his chest. “Pin me down and thrust your cock into me?”

“Jesus, Jen,” he breathed as her hand sped up, pumping the smooth flesh. “The least you could do is get me out of my uniform.” She released him and stepped back, leaving Doug to stumble drunkenly away from her, his knees shaking. “You stopped.”

She nodded and walked around to the other side of his desk, sitting down in his chair. “Come here.”

“Why?”

She licked the edges of her teeth, her pink tongue a blatant invitation. “Because I said so?”

“Good enough.” He held onto his desk as he rounded it, unsure that his legs would support him. As he reached her, she slipped off the chair and slid under his desk. “What are you doing?”

Her hand reached up and ran along his thigh. He stood stock still as she moved out from under the desk and unfastened his belt, tugging on the leather. “I want to taste you.”

His knees gave out and he sat down hard in the chair. Jen freed his erection from his pants as he edged the chair closer to her, parking it just outside the opening in which she hid. Her nails biting into the thin material of his slacks, she raised up onto her knees and licked the silky head, sliding her tongue over the tip.

Doug gripped the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white, her mouth engulfing him fully. Her hands moved up his legs to the fabric of his slacks and tugged it down, allowing her better access to his body. Free of the material, her fingers rustled the dark hairs that surrounded the base of his cock as she moved her mouth over him. Her tongue traced the thick vein along the underside of it, pressing hard against his skin.

He moaned her name softly, one hand disengaging from its iron grip on the chair to stroke her hair back from her face. His body felt like liquid fire, his head light as every drop of blood seemed to rush down to meet her hungry mouth. She pulled back, her energies focused on the swollen tip, her tongue now tracing the curved surface as her mouth constricted around him. His hand tightened around the golden strands as his hips bucked up off the chair, his body shaking as she continued to suck hard, draining him.

“Doug?”

He sat up quickly, leaning forward toward his desk. “Yes, sir?”

Jen jerked back as he moved, the back of her head hitting the top of his desk. She winced as the sound seemed to reverberate in the small space, only imagining what it sounded like in the whole of the office. She pulled away from Doug slowly, feeling his body react with every small movement.

“Do you have those files on the Harris case?”

“Yes, sir.” He clutched the side of his desk for a second before bending to the side and opening one of the drawers. His eyes looked hunted as he met Jen’s, pulled back from the edge of ecstasy. He dug a file out of the drawer and passed it over the top of the desk, his free hand sneaking under it to still hers.

Jen looked at his hand, shocked that she’d been stroking him without thought, her steady movements sending spatterings of milky white drops to the tile floor. She carefully disengaged her hand and scooted back away from him, careful this time of the metal walls surrounding her.

“Are we still waiting on the evidence from Colbert County, or has it arrived?”

“We’re still waiting.” His words sounded funny to him, thick and wrong, someone else’s voice in his throat. Only, that thought made him think of Jen’s mouth around him, his cock straining toward her throat, which only made things worse. “Jenkins said if it didn’t show tomorrow, we’d have to go get it from the locker.”

“All right. I’ll check with you first thing.”

“Right.” He half-sighed the word in relief as the other officer left and he was able to pull away, reaching down to help her from the confined space. “You okay?”

“Okay?” She reached up and started unbuttoning her shirt, pulling it away from her skin as soon as every one was free. “Jesus, I want you.”

“Jen…”

“Come on, Doug,” she straddled his legs and ground her body against his. “Tell me it didn’t excite you.”

“We almost got caught.”

“I know.” She cupped her breasts through her bra and offered them up to him. “Kiss me?”

“Jen, I can’t…” he protested as he bent his head, capturing one nipple in his mouth. The cotton was rough on his tongue, but did nothing to deter him from sucking on the hard tip, reaching his hands up to unfasten the hooks that held it in place. She moaned and held his head against her, her body still moving over his.

Capturing his hand, she brought it between her legs, pressing it against her jeans. He could feel the heat through the thick fabric, the sensation breaking through his body and crashing into his cock. “I want to fuck you, Doug. Right here. Right now.”

“Please…”

She pressed down onto his hand as she leaned forward, moaning softly into his ear. “You want me to say please?”

He sat there, his body quivering like a spent arrow, one hand molding her breast, kneading the creamy flesh even as he protested. All while the other rubbed at her jeans, aching to be inside her. With shaky control, Doug forced his hands away from her and guided her off his lap, refusing to look at her bare breasts or his own cock, throbbing again, despite her earlier ministrations. “I can’t.”

Jen looked at him lustily, hungry and refusing to be denied. Reaching down, she unfastened her jeans and kicked them to the floor, stepping out of them so that all she wore was the fluttering remains of her open shirt and bra. “You don’t have a choice.” She straddled him again, holding his forearms against the arms of the chair as she lowered herself onto his cock.

Her knees crowded his legs on the chair, pinning him there so that he couldn’t move. Her slick, hot passage surrounded him, sheathed him as her knee pressed against his holster, digging the hard leather into his thigh. She started moving slowly, the friction caused by the close quarters like electricity through Doug’s veins. Her body clung to his; soft, wet sounds echoing the pounding of his heart as she began to speed up, her breasts dancing in front of him.

He found one with his mouth, sucking on the hard tip, nibbling at the taut flesh. Jen swallowed hard and continued moving, her hips rocking over him, down onto him, their bodies barely moving, but forcing him deeper with every stroke.

She increased the pressure of each thrust, needing him farther inside her. Her buttocks were clenched tightly as he reached around her, stroking them, helping her as the reins of her control slipped through her fingers. She thrashed on top of him, her face a mask of concentration as she grabbed the back of the chair for leverage and exploded around him.

Doug cried out, the sound muffled by her breast as he felt the rush of her orgasm coat his cock, feeling the hot thickness for the first time as the realization that they’d been too involved to use protection crashed around him just as the back of the chair snapped, sending them both sprawling to the floor.

 

~**~  
“Shit.” Jen scrambled away from Doug, feeling around on the floor for her pants. She bit her lower lip to keep from laughing at the overwhelming absurdity of the situation. She wrapped her hand around the denim and pulled it with her toward her earlier hiding place.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hissed.

“Hiding.”

“Right because the people coming in here to find me like this aren’t going to suspect there’s someone hiding under the fucking desk?” He fastened his slacks, wincing as the wetness that moments ago had been slick and hot with her felt cold and unwelcoming on the cheap fabric. He reached for Jen’s hand and pulled her to her feet, working to button her blouse as she bent down to put on her jeans.

“I’m sorry.” She looked up at him through her bangs, blonde hair falling around her face, damp with perspiration.

He raised his hand to her cheek and cupped it gently. “I can get a new chair.”

“But the people…”

“Aren’t coming.” He brushed her bangs back, tucking them behind her ear. “It’s the shift change. And if they heard, they’ll probably think I’m just grilling someone with my good cop/bad cop routine.”

“Very funny.” She punched at his arm and started to walk away.

“We didn’t use anything.”

She stopped walking and looked down at the ground. “I know.”

“And as much as I don’t mind that we had mind-blowing sex, that worries me a little. A lot.”

“I know.”

“I don’t suppose there’s anything you can say that might just reassure me right now?” He stepped over the carcass of the chair. “If there’s not, well, we’ll deal with it, but if there is…”

“I’m on the pill.”

“And?”

She turned around. “And what?”

“I was hoping for a little more.”

“What more were you hoping for, Doug?” Her face closed down, no expression on it. “A detailed medical examination?”

“You don’t think I have a right to know something like that?”

“You think that I’d…that we’d…” She shook her head and started for the door. “Forget it.”

“No. I won’t forget it.” He grabbed her arm and turned her back to him. “What we just did, what you just instigated was dangerous and reckless. You put me in a situation where I had no choice but to…”

“You mean to tell me the man with the gun couldn’t have gotten me to stop if he really, really wanted me to?” She brushed off his arm and started toward the door, her back stiff. “Thanks for the benefit of the doubt, Doug.”

“Jen…”

“No.” She turned around. “You don’t get to be angry or upset here. I do. How can you sit there and say that you care about me and yet still think that I would do something so reckless, so…”

“I just thought maybe you were as out of control as I was.” She stopped, her hand on the doorknob. “Because if you had asked me to stop, I don’t think I could have. And that’s why I have to ask.”

“You think it matters by now? Doug, we’ve been having sex for the past month. We’ve been exchanging bodily fluids for even longer. If you were going to be in trouble, you’d have been in trouble the first time you kissed me.”

“It felt so good,” he admitted. “Feeling you completely. Not having to imagine how you’d feel around me without the condom. How you’d…never mind.”

“I get tested every year.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither of them moving. Finally Jen tilted her head. “You win that one.”

“And you keep giving me reasons to do it. And sometimes I wish you’d stop.”

“You do?” Her voice was quiet.

“Yeah. Because you’re about to leave Capeside and start your life. And I’m about to stay here for the rest of it.” He leaned back on his desk. “And it was just going to be hard enough to have you leave when I just thought you were sexy.”

“You don’t think I’m sexy now?”

“You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. Which, since I’ve lived here all my life, really isn’t saying much, but I mean it sincerely.” He laughed at himself, embarrassed. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? That I think I’m in love with you when we’ve only been seeing each other for two months? And it’s the worst timing in the world.”

“It is.”

“Which part? The worst timing or the most ridiculous?”

“This isn’t a contest.”

“No. It’s my life.” He shook his head and looked down at the ground. “Make a deal with me.”

“What sort of deal?”

“Graduation night, after you’ve had your fun with all your friends, I want you to come to my place. I want you to spend the night with me, all night. I want to make love to you until the sun comes up and then I want to do it a few more times. And then, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“I’m here for the whole summer.”

“And you’ll have lots of things you’ll want to do for the last time. People you’ll want to see and hang out with. Friends you’ll miss when you’re gone. So spend that time with them.”

“What if I want to spend it with you?”

“You can’t.”

“If I come to your apartment you won’t let me in? If I want to be with you, have you inside me, you’ll just turn me away?”

He closed his eyes, hating the hurt in her voice. “It’ll be easier for both of us.”

“No. It won’t.”

“Jen…”

“If that’s what you want, why don’t you just stop it now? Why prolong the agony of our relationship any longer? Why not just end things on a high note and leave the wreckage behind us?” She glanced past him to the shattered chair. “Why make it worse, Doug?”

“Is that what you want?”

She turned back to the door and opened it. “Yeah.”

“Goodbye then.”

She shut the door behind her and left the building, unable to see anything through her tears.

~**~  
“I thought I’d called a moratorium on this earlier this year, Jennifer.”

Jen looked up from her book, reluctantly meeting her grandmother’s gaze. “This is different. This isn’t pining for a stupid, high school boy who decided he’d rather spend time with someone else. This is being really pissed at someone who has decided that it’s easier dealing with our feelings if we pretend like we don’t have them anymore.” Using the remote to turn her angry chick music up louder, she hunkered down on the bed. “I’m going to just go out and find myself some nice Scottish girl and become a lesbian.”

“Rather drastic, dear.” Grams sat down next to her on the bed, taking the remote from her and dimming the music. “And unnecessary. Have you given some thought to the fact that maybe Douglas is right? You’re about to go off to college. You’ve got a new world about to open up to you. I didn’t think you needed to have some sort of long distance relationship with Henry, my feelings on that score haven’t changed.”

“He said he loved me, Grams.”

“If you love something, you have to set it free…”

“Stop. Please.” She shook her head. “I don’t think I can bear a single proverb, platitude or cliché right now. I miss him, Grams.”

“I know, dear.”

“And I really want to kick his ass. I want to just…” Jen sighed. “I hate that he’s right. I hate that he’s doing what’s best for me. I hate that he’s not being selfish. I want him to be selfish. I want him to want me so much, he begs me to stay.”

“Why? So you can break his heart when you leave him?”

“No. So that I know someone somewhere feels that way about me.”

“And you think that, by breaking up with you now, he’s not going to feel that way? He’s not going to miss you desperately, so much so that it hurts to breathe? You don’t think he’s going to see you in every beautiful girl that walks by?”

“You had me till that last one.”

“Probably not best to bring up other girls, is it?”

Tears sparkled in her eyes as she looked at her grandmother. “Grams? He’s going to find someone else and he’s going to do to her all the things that he did to me first. He’s going to share all of that with someone else.”

“So will you, Jennifer.”

“I don’t want him to.”

“I know.” Grams turned the music back up and took Jen’s hand, squeezing it as she got off the bed. “If it’s any consolation, when you’re gone off to college and he asks, I’ll be sure to tell Douglas that you loved him too.”

~**~  
“How did you manage to screw this up?” Pacey flopped onto Doug’s couch then got up immediately. “You guys didn’t have sex there or anything, did you?”

“No.”

Pacey sank back down again and kicked his feet up onto the coffee table. When Doug didn’t say anything, he dropped them down and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Bad, huh?”

“Go away, Pacey.”

“Maybe I can help.”

“How?”

His blue eyes serious, Pacey smiled at his older brother. “Yeah, how would I know anything about getting dumped by the woman you love? How would I know anything about stupidity and dating?”

“There’s nothing that can fix it, so it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”

“And that’s it. You just give up?”

“You gave up on Joey.”

“Joey doesn’t love me.” Silence filled the room like powder, clogging their lungs. “Maybe she did, or maybe she thought she did, but she didn’t. But I wanted to believe it, so I did. So what we have to figure out here, Dougie, is whether you’re in love with Jen or whether you and Jen are in love.”

“I think it’s safe to say that the first option is the one you should lay your money on.” Doug moved over to the stereo and leafed through his collection, not surprised when he couldn’t find anything. “You’d think a case full of divas and I could find one goddamned song…”

“Turn to country. It’s the music of pain.” Pacey opened the backpack that lay at his feet and pulled out a few CDs. “I raided my personal stash, so don’t do anything drastic like play a rousing game of Frisbee in a fit of frustrated passion.”

“Why are you here?”

“Jen looks miserable. I thought I’d see if you did too.” He reached for an apple sitting in the bowl on the table and took a bite. “So, let’s get down to business. You tell me exactly what’s going on and I’ll give you sage advice.”

“How about you just go away?” Doug sat down on the chair diagonal from Pacey and picked up his gun to clean it. “Before it gets ugly.”

“Do you even know how to use that thing?”

“Go away, Pacey. I’ll pay you.”

“How much?”

“Twenty bucks.”

“Not enough. Now, tell me.”

“Fifty.”

“You can’t afford to make me leave, Doug. Just put the gun down and confess.” Pacey took another bite of the apple. “Or should I guess?”

“Jen’s going away to college and she needs the freedom to do it.”

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“Please go away? A hundred bucks.”

“Does she love you too?” He finished the apple and looked at his brother. “If the way she’s acting at school is any indication, she’s in love with you too. And, coming off the heels of a relationship such as mine was, I want to tell you what a great thing that is, Doug. It’s not something you just toss away.”

“She’s leaving for college in less than three months, Pace. She’s ten years younger than I am and she’s…”

“Experienced?” Pacey observed the silence casually. “When you love someone, it doesn’t matter what they know or who they’ve been with. Unless, as in my case, it’s Dawson.”

Doug cracked a smile. “Not that you’re bitter.”

“Not at all.”

“I did the right thing, Pacey. And it does hurt and it was hard. But in the end, it is the right thing.”

“There was this one thing that I did learn while I was dating Joey, the one good thing I probably took out of the whole fiasco that was my personality makeover.”

“What’s that?”

“You can’t do the right thing for other people. You have to do the right thing for you and let them decide what’s right for them. You’re not going anywhere, Doug. And while it might hurt you to see her leave, it’s going to be more torture to see her around town and know that if you’d just ask her, she’d come back to you.” Pacey sighed. “I thought I was doing all this stuff for Joey. You know, the school, the hard work, the being a decent guy. But I wasn’t. Because in the end, I realized that Joey wasn’t going to be around forever, but I’ve got to live with myself.”

“You’ve gotten so wise.”

“I’ve just been in your shoes before, Doug.” He stood and grabbed his backpack. “Just…you’ve only got three months, Doug. Why not do everything you can to make them the best three months of your life?”

~**~  
“Is she home?”

Grams regarded Doug suspiciously. “I am almost positive that I distinctly told you that you were not to do this to my granddaughter. I know I said something very clearly about having sex with her and hurting her. And I know for a fact that you swore to me that you had no intention of doing either of those things.”

“I also had no intention of falling in love with her.” He gave her a half-smile. “May I come in?”

“I don’t know that she’ll see you.”

“I know. I figured it was worth a try.”

“She’s gone off to find herself a nice Scottish girl and become a lesbian.”

“Why Scottish?”

Grams refused to smile, “I hadn’t thought to ask.”

“Because Scottish girls are sexy and they know how to drink.” Jen stood at the top of the stairs and looked down at him. “And I figured if I was going to do this lesbian thing, I’d do it right.”

“So how is it working out for you?”

“There’s a shortage of Scottish girls around Capeside.” She took a few steps closer, hanging on to the banister. “What are you doing here, Doug?”

“I was wondering if we could talk.”

“No.” She turned around and started back up the stairs.

“I was wondering if I could apologize.”

She stopped but didn’t face him. “Do you have any intention of groveling at my feet?”

“I plan on doing several things to your feet if you let me, groveling at them would only expedite the process.”

She half-turned and looked at him over her shoulder. “I’m not just going to go have sex with you because now you’ve had a taste of it and want more.”

Doug cast a quick look at Grams who was standing there, a half-smile on her face. He could feel the heat of his blush suffusing his skin as he turned back to her. “I wouldn’t have to come here and make a fool out of myself if all I wanted was sex though, would I?”

“I’m still going away to college in three months.”

“Jen?”

She finally turned completely and looked at him for a long minute. “What?”

“Those three months are going to be short enough as it is, do you think we can do this part of it after you’ve gone and spend what time we have together doing stuff that’s actually fun?”

She grinned. “Like sex?”

“Like sex,” he nodded, intensely aware of Grams’ gaze. “And everything else that made me fall in love with you before we even got that far.”

“You keep saying that.”

“What?”

“That you’re in love with me.”

“I am.”

She walked down the remaining stairs, staying atop the last one so that their eyes met. “You’re not just saying that to get laid again, are you?”

Doug raised his hand and pushed a loose strand of hair back from her face. “I’m saying it because I miss you, because I want you, because I do love you.” He leaned in and kissed her softly; reminding her of the innocent kisses he used to give her on Grams’ porch. “And I don’t think that, after announcing in front of your grandmother that I fully intend to ravage you the second you let me, I can put myself anymore out there, so I’d really appreciate you say something vaguely acquiescent.”

“Something like ‘I’ll be spending the night at Doug’s tonight, Grams’?”

“Something like that,” he nodded, his hands going to her waist and holding her lightly. “Yeah.”

“I’ll be spending the night at Doug’s tonight, Grams.”

Grams nodded as she started toward the kitchen. “I’ll see you in the morning, dear.”

~**~

“Boston isn’t that far.”

“No,” he agreed. “It isn’t.”

“So, you could visit. Hang around all the college bars trolling for chicks while I’m in class, then sharing them with me when I got home.”

“You’re determined to try the lesbian thing, huh?”

“I understand there are Scottish girls in Boston.”

“Find me a nice one, would you?” He ran his fingers through her hair, staring into her eyes.

Jen smiled thinly, her lips pressed together in an effort to keep her tears at bay. “We never got around to having sex on your desk.”

“I guess we’ll have to save that for Thanksgiving break, huh?” He couldn’t stop touching her, stroking her skin, her hair. A whistle blew somewhere in the distance. “That’s your train.”

“I know.”

“Jack’s waiting for you.”

“I know.”

“Your Scottish girl is waiting for you.”

She was silent, tears she’d failed to withhold streaming down her cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And I’m going to miss you.” She touched his cheek with her thumb, feeling the cool wetness from his own tears. “And I really think you should ride up there with me. Sex on a train is not to be believed.”

He laughed softly and kissed her, trapping the melancholy sound between them as the steamy rush of air from the train whooshed around the platform. Pulling away, he grabbed her suitcases and started walking toward Jack. “Time to go.”

“I don’t want to go.” She grabbed his hand and stopped him. “I want to stay here with you and live in sin. Doesn’t that sound good? Sex all day, every day?”

“And my job?”

“We’ve had sex there before.” Her pale eyes pleaded with him. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Jack walked up to them and took the bags from Doug, giving them a smile. “It’s time to go, Jen.”

“I’ll see you at Thanksgiving,” Doug promised.

“Come up before then.”

“I’ll try.”

She looked at him. “You won’t. Because you want me to find someone else and fall in love with them.”

“I want you to be happy.”

“You make me happy.”

Doug smiled and leaned down, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed her, every ounce of passion he possessed given to her in the gift of his kiss. “I love you.”

She nodded, crying again. “I love you, too. So much.”

He stepped back and watched as Jack took her hand, pulling her toward the train. She stopped just inside the door, turning around to wave at him. He raised his hand in response, holding it up long past the time when she was out of sight.

As the train pulled out of the station, he lowered his hand and smiled sadly. “Have a nice rest of your life.”


End file.
